“No” an unspoken expectation, or a training need….?

As a child, the word that we hear the most is NO….! Is that why when we become adults, we are so reluctant to say NO, even when that is the most logical answer? The more I deal with people at a Corporate and other levels, the more I realize how frustrating it is not to have closures, just because I don’t know how to say “no”. It’s absolutely acceptable if the time is not right for a particular intervention; a proposal is beyond the permitted budgets; I am not ready for a meeting right now; the candidate does not meet the job requirement; meeting you for a coffee,….etc…..but does it become so difficult to pick up the phone or email just stating that? I wish the recipient could realize the anxiety of the pursuer to have a closure. It’s so frustrating to follow up days on end with calls, sms, and emails to get an answer, and then give up wondering where you went wrong!

Being assertive is a behaviour that we all wish to acquire and perfect, but does that not include the art of saying “no”.  Am OK you’re OK is the most acceptable situation, but how often is the situation not OK because we cannot communicate what we actually want to, because we often feel that saying “no”  becomes a deterrent to our relationship! But do we even realise that not giving or getting clear answer is a greater deterrent to relationships.  Clearly, it is something that most of us struggle with and the need to say “no”  does not come voluntarily and naturally….despite the fact that we realize the need to give/receive clear answers and firm closures

The solution is therefore obvious that there is a definite need to instil this aspect of assertive behaviour in our psyche, saying  “no”  without feeling guilty, nurture healthier relationships and improve our producitivity….Achievable,yes..Where there is a will, there is a way!